How Nurses Think

The Atlanta Journal Constitution has this article up. Several nurses are interviewed and are asked what it takes, critical-thinking wise, to be a nurse. It’s clear the meek and the untrained wouldn’t survive. The statements made by the nurses show, with no room for disagreement, that the nurse with the solid education and some years of experience will get to that excellent place where the new information coming in about a patient flows into the nurse’s noggin, and the next words and actions are the result of said education and the catalogued accumulate of hundreds of patients.

Have you ever experienced one of those badass super-bitch nurses? I mean “super-bitch” in the way of highest compliments. I enjoy Western Medicine and all it can offer me, especially when a human being is about to walk out of my womb. It turns out that narrow-waisted little me is really good at birthing the babies. Which means my kids show up sooner than either myself or the hospital staff ever expect.

That’s fine (no one likes a long labor), but sometimes it means the doctor is still home in bed when things start to happen in earnest. I remember everything getting loud and chaotic very quickly. There were several nurses in the room, along with my husband and his parents. I didn’t give a crap about any of them except the quiet British nurse who looked me in the eye and spoke to me, causing the room and everyone in it to go all Matrix-y. She smiled calmly and told me, “Your doctor isn’t here. Don’t worry—I’m a midwife.”

My eyes widened in the exact way you’d expect a first-time mother’s eyes to widen while she’s thinking, What the f*ck are you telling me, woman?!. But I said nothing, because Sweet British Nurse Chick held my gaze for one more second, which was all the time it took for her–in my undrugged mind only, no one else noticed–to rip open her scrubs, revealing the caped, Super Bitch unitard (there were boots too, thigh-high ass-kickers).

I understood then that I didn’t need a damned doctor; this RN/midwife was going to get my kid out alive no matter what. She’d seen it all before and she was prepared to think her way through any new twist I threw at her.

She did, too. I still have a crush on her.

Posted by Alexa Harrington

(image: CrisVector)

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